Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Ugly People

Joseph: (12:56:31 PM) I can't stand ugly people.
Joseph: (12:56:34 PM) Is that bad?
Katie Jones: (12:56:38 PM) not at all
Joseph: (12:56:49 PM) It's not very sexy in the TECH today.
Joseph: (12:56:57 PM) But I'm seeing a LOT of people with weird faces.
Katie Jones: (12:57:00 PM) noooo
Joseph: (12:57:02 PM) And I'm just like, take that somewhere else.
Katie Jones: (12:57:12 PM) bahahaha
Katie Jones: (12:57:15 PM) it totally happens
Joseph: (12:57:22 PM) I think it's just today.
Joseph: (12:57:30 PM) I can't tolerate uggos.
Joseph: (12:57:48 PM) Like, why would you wear your hair like that with that facial frame?
Joseph: (12:57:54 PM) Don't sit nex-
Joseph: (12:57:56 PM) God damn it.
Katie Jones: (12:58:02 PM) yeees that just happened
Joseph: (12:58:22 PM) Smells like peanuts in here.
Katie Jones: (12:59:11 PM) awkward?
Katie Jones: (12:59:26 PM) i wish Jessie would get back sooo the maintenance guy being here would be less awkward
Katie Jones: (1:00:24 PM) ugh i do not want to write a paper tonight
Joseph: (1:00:30 PM) No one does.
Joseph: (1:00:54 PM) For instance, I'm prepping a poetry presentation right now and I'd rather have hot lava run out of my anus.
Katie Jones: (1:01:14 PM) you just expressed my feelings exactly

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Birthdays Are Just an Excuse to Eat Cake

 Katie 1:55 pm
    was yesterday some sort of social experiment?

 Joseph 1:56 pm
    I just didn't want my wall flooded with OMG HAPY BIRFDAY.
    And then I decided not to be a dick and put my birthday back up on FB and what happens?
    Bethany Clevenstine and 50 other people posted on your wall.

 Katie 1:56 pm
    i love it when that happens
    but i still hate you

 Joseph 1:57 pm

 Katie 1:57 pm
    you made me look like the biggest dick friend ever

 Joseph 1:57 pm
    I don't understand.

 Katie 1:58 pm
    you should have been like "Hey, guess what, Katie? It's my Birthday!"

 Joseph 1:58 pm
    I didn't...think it was important...

 Joseph 1:59 pm
    Plus I was rull busy yesterday.
    Waking up at 2 and cleaning the basement.
    I just.
    I don't care?
    That's it.

 Katie 2:01 pm
    well I CARE

 Joseph 2:01 pm
    Sounds like a personal problem.
    You should speak to someone about that.
    A professional of some sort.

 Katie 2:01 pm
    well damn

 Joseph 2:02 pm
    You've just been verbally assaulted.

 Katie 2:02 pm
    I will physically assault you

 Joseph 2:03 pm

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Life, Death, and Maracas

 Katie 9:15 pm
let us please do this

 Joseph 9:17 pm
This is like.
This is an incentive to have kids.

 Katie 9:17 pm
exactly my thought

 Katie 9:18 pm
dude, i feel i look completely different from when i was a kid though. Like...somewhere along the way, my genetics were like...uhh lets just change up her face when she turns 12. So i feel like that age thing wouldn't have worked

 Joseph 9:20 pm
You do look drastically different.
What the fart happened?

 Katie 9:21 pm
i have no fricking clue!!!!
Brian was looking at a picture, and he was like "Who was that kid?" And I was like...uhhh

 Joseph 9:21 pm

 Katie 9:21 pm
i used to be really tan and really blonde and skinny as anything
according to what I looked like as a kid, i should be a model...but then i stopped growing, got hips, and stopped going outside...and got curly hair

 Joseph 9:23 pm
You have really nice birthing hips.

 Katie 9:23 pm
thank you
i appreciate that

 Joseph 9:23 pm
I forsee twins being a possibility.

 Katie 9:23 pm
hell no

 Joseph 9:23 pm
That would be AMAZING.

 Katie 9:23 pm
i think they are freaky

 Joseph 9:23 pm
We could do it Parent Trap style though!

 Katie 9:24 pm

 Joseph 9:24 pm
Promise me.
If you ever have twins.

 Katie 9:24 pm
severe emotional trauma for the win

 Joseph 9:24 pm
I take one and move to England.
We purposefully send them to the same summer camp.

 Katie 9:24 pm
hahahaha omg

 Joseph 9:24 pm
Twins fencing.

 Katie 9:24 pm
that would be hilarious!

 Joseph 9:24 pm
Twin swapping.
Hopefully you won't give them tragic ginger genes.

 Joseph 9:25 pm
We'll need a picture of ourselves on a ship.
We could do this point by point.
It's not like they'll ever watch it.

 Katie 9:26 pm
never ever

 Joseph 9:26 pm
It'll be years.

 Katie 9:27 pm
and i mean, it wont be weird that you are arabic and my child will be aryan as hell

 Joseph 9:27 pm
I guess we'll just have to do it.

 Katie 9:27 pm

 Joseph 9:28 pm
I should start practicing wedding dress designing.
Just realized.
I made you Dennis Quaid.

 Katie 9:29 pm
thats fine
he rocks my socks
and he has a vinyard
and horses

 Joseph 9:30 pm
I made myself Natasha Richardson.
I'm okay with this.
I'll just stay away from ski slopes.

 Katie 9:32 pm
good plan!
I would cry if you died of a freak accident

 Joseph 9:33 pm
I would frown down upon you from Heaven or view you from the flatscreen in Hell if you ever cried if I died.
Promise me.
That if I die randomly.
That there isn't a funeral.
But a friggin dance rave.

 Katie 9:33 pm
I can't promise that
there will be far too many depressed people

 Joseph 9:33 pm
Eff that ess.
I'm making a will.

 Katie 9:34 pm
maybe a sing-along to Sound of Music?
seems more fitting

 Joseph 9:34 pm
No way Josie.
People need to be festive.
And wear bright colors.
Maybe some limbo.

 Katie 9:34 pm

 Joseph 9:34 pm
I don't need whiney bitches mourning a loss.
But rather...
With maracas, preferably.

 Katie 9:35 pm
hahahaha fine fine

 Joseph 9:35 pm
*shoulder pop*

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Early Bird Gets the Weirdo

Katie 12:11 pm
So I was hoping to have the classroom to myself for like an hour before my final but THE most annoying guy in the class just showed up and he is eating his lunch

 Joseph 12:12 pm
Start a fire.

 Katie 12:12 pm
i should
this is really bad

 Joseph 12:12 pm
Start crying loudly.

 Katie 12:13 pm
i think he has like autism or something

 Joseph 12:14 pm
Scream in latin backwards.

Katie is offline 12:15 pm

Saturday, April 23, 2011


Katie 1:46 pm
    my caps lock was on

 Joseph 1:47 pm
    Cruise control for cool, much?

 Katie 1:47 pm

 Joseph 1:47 pm
    I think I was supposed to go to church with mom this morning at 9.
But she didn't wake me up?

 Katie 1:47 pm
    way to be a terrible son

 Joseph 1:47 pm
    Well she said that we'd be there for an hour.
And it's clearly almost 2 and she's not back yet.
So disaster avoided.
I'm going back with her at midnight, so I win?

 Katie 1:49 pm

 Joseph 1:49 pm
I absolutely cannot return to Philthy without them.

 Katie 1:49 pm
    i thought that was a new expression of surprise like "JUMPIN JEHOSAPHAT!"
    I like it
    i think we should starting saying it

 Joseph 1:50 pm

 Katie 1:50 pm
    LIGHT BULBS AND ALUMINUM FOIL! I just cut my hair and its terrible!

 Joseph 1:51 pm

 Katie 1:51 pm
    you're pickin up what i'm puttin down

 Joseph 1:51 pm
    That is something I never want to hear/see you say.

 Katie 1:51 pm
    d'aw why?

 Joseph 1:51 pm
    The TA in my race class is super awkward.
And he would not stop saying that during one class.
He tries so hard to be funny and it never works.

 Katie 1:52 pm

 Joseph 1:52 pm
    So that expression makes me think of him and I cringe because he's so awkward.

 Katie 1:52 pm
    I wasn't trying to be funny though

 Joseph 1:52 pm

 Katie 1:52 pm

 Joseph 1:53 pm
    Light bulbs and aluminum foil, you're so dumb.
How's the whole work load?

 Katie 1:53 pm
    i got nothing accomplished yesterday

 Joseph 1:53 pm

 Katie 1:53 pm
    but I am almost done with my lesson plan

 Joseph 1:53 pm

 Katie 1:53 pm
    shut up

 Joseph 1:54 pm
    No no, it's fine.

 Katie 1:54 pm
    i had the apartment to myself do the first time in ages sooo I pretty much spent the night walking around naked and taking baths
    2 of them

 Joseph 1:54 pm
    We had fun drinking tea and having lemon bars and scones and cookies and cake and playing games and watching movies without you.
You know.

 Katie 1:54 pm
    well its fine. I am glad you guys had fun

 Joseph 1:54 pm
    I'm not!!! >_<

 Katie 1:55 pm

 Joseph 1:55 pm
    And I digest.
I do both of those things that start with di-

 Katie 1:55 pm
    nice observation

 Joseph 1:55 pm